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Aren't I paid to 'know'?

10/6/2018

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Picture
  Several great things happened last week; 

 At the beginning of it, I stood on a beautiful part of the
coast just before dawn & watched the most amazing
sunrise over the hills as the light caught & danced
with the water, sneaking its warmth across the fields.

"Let me drink the sunrise & swallow the dawn"  after Gibran.

 The next privilege I had was to spend a couple of days
 training & supporting Advanced Coaches  working towards
 their Masters' level qualification.

 Then, I listened to an episode of SuperSoul Sunday where 
 Oprah & Bréne Brown talked about Bréne's work on & 
 experience of vulnerability.
​​https://itunes.apple.com/gb/podcast/oprahs-supersoul-conversations/id1264843400?mt=2&i=1000390738746

 I was reminded about the edgy  challenge of what it takes  to be a great coach & not co-incidentally,
 a student of meaningful & real relationships: the art of Not Knowing.
 Certainty is not only what it's easy to believe we're paid to have, especially as adults & professionals
 who are paid directly by those whom we aspire to support, but also where we 
(humans that is) like to hide our not knowing.
If I'm not certain, & somehow demonstrate my uncertainty, then I will be vulnerable & open to criticism
& judgment; mine first & then that of others. 
When I'm not certain, I can feel stupid, young, foolish, a pretender who is undeserving of the
opportunity I may have in that moment. 
If I'm not certain, I may make a mistake, or get 
it 'wrong'.....I will be 'seen' as less than perfect.

When, actually....when I'm uncertain, when I know that I don't know....I'm open & real. I show up, & you
are more likely to to as well. This is true in life & certainly in coaching.

When I'm trying to be certain, I might make stuff up.
when I can stay with  not being certain I'm more likely to actually listen to you,  & stand an
improved chance of actually hearing you. Then, I may be more likely to really 'meet' you. 
And then, what can happen?

I don't know what's 'right' for you or what you 'mean' anymore than I can know how to grab hold
​of the sun. But, I'm going to keep on showing up & being there as fully as I can.


 How do YOU behave when you're not certain?

​

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    I love to notice, & to wonder & to journal on the things I wonder about: as the poet David Whyte says ~to "overhear myself saying things I didn't know I knew"
    What do you wonder?

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